Out in the Cold
The hallway of the apartment building was dimly lit, a single flickering bulb casting jittery shadows on the stained walls. Garth led the way, his heavy boots scuffing against the chipped linoleum as Jahnny trailed close behind, clutching his jacket tightly around him. The bottle of pills was nestled deep in his pocket, the cool plastic pressing against his thigh. He could still hear the echo of the nurse’s stern voice in his head, rattling off instructions about dosage and side effects.
“Be quiet,” Garth hissed as he reached the apartment door, fishing for the key in his pocket. The door creaked softly as he pushed it open, and they slipped inside like shadows.
The air inside was thick with the faint smell of reheated beans and damp laundry. The familiar sounds of the neighborhood drifted in through a broken window in the living room—distant sirens, a car revving, someone shouting down the block. Jahnny followed his father into the kitchen, careful to keep his footsteps light, but his stomach dropped when he saw her.
Marie was sitting at the small wooden table, arms crossed, her face set in a stony expression. The single bulb above her cast harsh shadows on her tired features, making her look older than she was. She didn’t say anything at first, just watched them with narrowed eyes.
“Well?” she finally said, her voice low but sharp.
Garth froze for half a beat, then forced a grin. “Marie, sweetheart, didn’t expect you to still be up.” He slipped off his jacket, draping it over the back of a chair like he hadn’t just walked in after dark with their seven-year-old son, whom he took without telling her.
“Where were you?” Marie’s tone was clipped, her eyes shifting to Jahnny, who was doing his best to stay out of the line of fire.
“Just out makin’ moves, you know how it is,” Garth replied with a casual shrug. “Gotta keep the cash flowin’.”
Marie’s lips pressed into a thin line. “What moves? What’s so important you’ve got Jahnny out at this hour?” Her gaze flicked to the boy, her expression softening briefly before hardening again when she returned her focus to Garth.
Garth waved a dismissive hand, chuckling lightly. “Relax, it wasn’t nothin’ dangerous. Just showin’ the boy the ropes, teachin’ him some life lessons. It’s good for him.”
Jahnny stood silently, his fingers gripping the edge of his pocket where the pill bottle rested. He felt Marie’s gaze land on him again, scrutinizing.
“What kind of life lessons?” she asked coldly. “Because it smells like a bar in here, Garth.”
“Oh, give me a break,” Garth snapped, his grin faltering. “I’m out here bustin’ my ass for this family while you sit around lookin’ for things to nag about.”
Marie shot to her feet, her chair scraping against the floor. “Don’t you dare,” she hissed, her voice trembling with anger. “Don’t you dare pretend like you’re doing this for us. You’re dragging our son into your mess!”
“Mess?” Garth shot back, his tone rising. “You wanna call puttin’ food on the table a mess?”
Jahnny’s voice slipped out before he could stop it. “It wasn’t a bar. We went to this clinic place…”
The room fell into a tense silence. Jahnny immediately regretted speaking. Garth’s head snapped around to glare at him, but it was too late. Marie’s eyes widened as she took a step closer, her gaze darting between the two of them.
“A clinic?” she repeated, her voice shaking. “What clinic?”
“It ain’t what you think,” Garth said quickly, raising his hands.
“What clinic?” Marie demanded, her voice louder now.
“It’s just some trial thing,” Jahnny mumbled, looking down at his shoes.
Marie’s expression darkened as she turned on Garth. “You signed him up for clinical trials? Are you out of your damn mind?”
Garth rolled his eyes, snatching his jacket off the chair. “It’s not a big deal. Just a few pills. They pay good money for this kinda thing. Hell, it’s probably vitamins or somethin’.”
Marie’s hands trembled as she reached for the jacket. Garth moved to block her, but she was faster, yanking it away and pulling out a crumpled packet of papers stuffed into the inner pocket.
Her eyes scanned the first page, her face growing paler with each line. “Experimental drug trials?” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “Garth, he’s seven! Seven!”
“Yeah, and he’s a tough kid,” Garth snapped. “It’s not like they’re cuttin’ him open or anything. You’re blowin’ this way outta proportion.”
Marie’s hands clenched around the papers. “You are unbelievable. You’re gambling with our son’s health, Garth. For what? A quick buck?”
“To keep this damn family afloat!” Garth roared, slamming his fist on the table.
Jahnny flinched, his small frame trembling as he stood rooted to the spot. Marie didn’t back down, stepping closer to Garth, her fury palpable.
“No, you’re doing this to feed your own addictions,” she spat. “Don’t you dare pretend you’re some kind of savior. You’re a selfish bastard, and you know it.”
Garth’s face twisted, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “Yeah? Well, if I’m so selfish, maybe you should figure out how to pay the rent next month without me!”
Jahnny wished he could disappear. The tension in the room was suffocating, and he felt like a pawn caught in a battle he didn’t understand. His small hand instinctively reached for the pill bottle again, gripping it tightly as if it might anchor him in the storm.
Marie’s voice cracked with emotion. “You don’t get to do this. Not to him. Not to any of us.”
“Well, it’s done now,” Garth snapped, grabbing the papers from her hands. “And guess what? He’s fine. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with him, so maybe you should back the hell off.”
The silence that followed was heavy, broken only by the faint hum of the refrigerator. Marie looked at Jahnny, her eyes filled with worry, then back at Garth with disgust.
“You’re not a father,” she said quietly. “You’re a goddamn leech.”
Garth glared at her, then turned on his heel. “Come on, Jahnny. We’re leaving.”
Jahnny hesitated, looking back at his mother. Her face softened as she reached out a hand to him.
“Stay, Jahnny,” she pleaded. “You don’t have to go with him.”
But Garth’s voice cut through the moment like a blade. “Get your coat, kid. Now!”
Jahnny swallowed hard, his small legs carrying him toward the door as he followed his father out into the cold night air that hit him like a slap, biting through his thin coat as he followed his father down the decaying steps of their apartment building. Garth moved fast, his long strides fueled by anger, muttering a string of curses under his breath. Jahnny had to jog to keep up, his small feet slapping against the pavement.
“That woman,” Garth snarled, his voice low but venomous. “Thinks she can talk to me like that? After everything I’ve done for her, for this family? Ungrateful bitch.”
Jahnny kept his head down, the pill bottle in his pocket feeling heavier with every step. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say, so he said nothing, his breath puffing in little clouds in front of him.
“Leech?” Garth spat, his voice rising. “She called me a damn leech? I’m the one out here bustin’ my ass to keep a roof over their heads!” He stopped abruptly, turning to look at Jahnny with wild eyes. “Ain’t I, kid? You saw me tonight, right? Workin’ hard, doin’ what it takes?”
Jahnny nodded quickly, not wanting to set him off. “Yeah, Dad,” he murmured.
“Damn right,” Garth muttered, his jaw clenched. “Ungrateful. The whole lot of ‘em.”
They walked in silence for a while, the city around them eerily quiet. Most of the streetlights in their neighborhood were busted, leaving only the glow of a distant liquor store sign to light their way. The cold crept into Jahnny’s fingers, numbing them even though he shoved his hands deep into his pockets.
“What’re we gonna do, Dad?” he asked hesitantly.
Garth stopped walking and let out a long, angry breath. He looked up and down the street, as if searching for an answer in the cracked pavement or boarded-up windows. “Hell if I know,” he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. “She’ll lock me out, I know she will. Can’t go back in there.”
Jahnny shuffled his feet, his gaze drifting back toward their building. The dim outline of their apartment window was visible from where they stood, a warm rectangle of light cutting through the darkness.
Garth followed his son’s gaze, his expression hardening. “You know what? Fuck this,” he said suddenly, his voice tight with rage.
Before Jahnny could ask what he meant, Garth stooped down, grabbing a loose rock from the edge of the sidewalk. He weighed it in his hand, his jaw clenching as he stared up at their apartment window.
“Dad,” Jahnny started nervously. “What are you—”
The rock flew through the air before he could finish. It smashed through the kitchen window with a loud crash, the sound shattering the stillness of the night. Jahnny jumped, his heart racing as he stared at the broken glass glittering on the pavement.
A moment later, Marie’s voice erupted from the apartment, sharp and furious. “What the hell is wrong with you, Garth?! Are you insane?!”
Garth just stood there, breathing hard, his fists clenched at his sides.
“Get out of here!” Marie’s voice rang out again, louder this time. “You’re not coming back in, you hear me? You’re not welcome here!”
A baby’s wail cut through the night, piercing and desperate. Jahnny winced, recognizing Betsy’s cry.
“Oh, great,” Marie shouted, her voice muffled but still furious. “You woke the baby, you son of a bitch!”
Garth’s face twisted into a sneer. “Yeah, well, maybe you shoulda kept your mouth shut!” he yelled back.
The window above them slid open, and Marie leaned out, her face red with anger. “You think you’re a big man, huh? Throwing rocks like a goddamn child? You’re pathetic, Garth. Pathetic!”
Garth took a step closer, his voice rising. “Pathetic? I’m the only one keeping this family afloat! You’re the one sittin’ on your ass all day, complaining about everything I do!”
Jahnny shrank back, trying to make himself invisible as the argument escalated. Marie’s face twisted in rage, and she threw something down—a plastic bowl, which clattered harmlessly on the pavement.
“Don’t you dare blame me for your mess!” she screamed. “You’re the one who gambled away everything we had. You’re the one who’s ruined this family!”
Betsy’s cries grew louder, a frantic backdrop to the shouting match. Jahnny’s stomach churned as he glanced up at the broken window. He wanted to yell at them to stop, to do something to make it all go away, but he was frozen in place, his small frame trembling in the cold.
“Come on, kid,” Garth growled suddenly, grabbing Jahnny’s arm. “We’re done here.”
Jahnny stumbled as Garth dragged him down the street, away from the apartment building and the sound of his mother’s yelling. He looked back once, catching a glimpse of Marie leaning out of the window, her face still contorted with anger.
The night swallowed them up, the shadows growing darker as they left the warmth of the apartment’s light behind.